31 Ways to Know if You've Read Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone One too Many Times.
You know you've read Philospher's Stone one too many times when you...
1. Continually ask people if they want a Lemon Drop.
2. Throw blankets over yourself and insist you're invisble.
3. Tell your hats that you don't want to be put it Slytherin.
4. Wince and grab your forehead every time you see a man wearing a turban.
5. Ask snakes if they can hear you.
6. Instruct your chess pieces where to move.
7. Paint walnuts yellow, toss them in the air, and say you're the youngest seeker in a century.
8. choke on said Walnut, and say that you've caught the Snitch.
9. Act genuinely surprised when you get presents for Christmas.
10. Tap random bricks with an umbrella and insist you're trying to get into Diagon Alley.
11. Pay people with your version of Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts.
12. Wave random sticks around, and when nothing happens, tell yourself that it just isn't the right one.
13. Tell your siblings that Hagrid will give them a pig tail.
14. Call people Muggles.
15. Tell random people that you know how to calm fluffy...
16. ...and refuse to explain.
17. Say "sunshine daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow," at every mouse you see.
18. Tell your friends to beware of the troll in their bathroom.
19. Expect to see your heart's desire in a mirror.
20. Feel around in your pocket for any stones while staring in said mirror.
21. Set fire to the clothes of men with black hair at public sporting events.
22. Look out for Firenze every time you enter a forest.
23. Tell your teachers that you know about the Philosopher's Stone...
24. ...and refuse to explain.
25. Have unknowingly done multiple things on this list.
26. Continually talk about how evil you think Snape is.
27. Remind your arch-enemy that there hasn't been a witch or wizard who hasn't gone bad in Slytherin.
28. Check for trap doors beneath your dog.
29. Ask people to address their letters to you to the "cupboard under the stairs," or "the old house on the rock."
30. Jinx your broomstick, and pray that Hermione will show up to break Quirrell's eye contact.
31. Search every bag of jellybeans for a bogey flavored one. Tell all those who say otherwise that George swore he once found one.
Finally, I would like to add that I have recently been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Lizardry! I was very honoured as I have spent many years honing my lizardry skills.
32. You don't drink beer ever. That's right, you're fucking gay.
ReplyDelete33. You like Harry Potter
34. You write blogs about Harry Potter
35. When you like jizz
36. You call your blog sanchez alfonzo
37. You make facebook profiles about mexicans
38. You have swine flu
39. You have aids
FUCK YOU CUNT
ReplyDeleteBrad, you are a good wizard. Love from Albus Dumbledore
ReplyDeleteBrad you are a shit wizard. Love from Severus Snape.
ReplyDelete40. Your a pedofile.
ReplyDeleteWait wait, wrong blog. Where's Rowan's blog?