Sanchez vs. Crazed Feminist

Of all the enlightened and brilliantly charming words to have left Sanchez's mouth, none have such immediate effect as one quote from last night.

Sanchez was invited to a girls 18th. The party was 85% feminists and 15% guys. Surely you can see where this is going. Sanchez felt obliged to dress to suit the occasion, so in he walked to his 12 cruisers, 8 guava and 4 passionfruit of course, and a shirt that read, "Chick Magnet". It was not long before this shirt was being scrutinized by the small brains of the aforementioned feminists. A few of them decided to throw some chat at Sanchez in regards to his delicious taste in alcoholic beverages. Already primed for a battle, Sanchez pounced.

"Are you guys feeling homesick? Cause you've been out of the kitchen for a while"

"How did you get your master to unchain for tonight? Did you promise him a 3 course meal?"

The feminists took these blows heavily but valiantly battled on to say that men couldn't survive without women. Really? Did they really just say that? Yes. I quickly pointed out how ridiculous this comment was, as neither men nor women could survive without the other and that I was feeling a little hungry and I would like a sandwich. I had won the battle, but I wanted to win the war. I was overcome with guava cruisers and self-satisfaction, a dangerous mix. The queen on the feminists strode towards me, her eyes flickered to my drinks, she gave herself a small smile and whispered something to her friend. She laughed. I didn't.

"Why are you drinking girly drinks?" she asked with an evil grin on her face. Little did she know her world would soon be shattered.

"Because they are delicious", I replied.

"Yuuuuck!" She said, "Guava cruisers are disgusting!" It was like throwing gasoline on a fire.

...And then is happened, the words that would forever haunt this poor woman.

"I would sell my first born child for a carton of guava cruisers!" I told her, without skipping a beat.

She stood there, shocked, disgusted, and probably slightly turned on. Then she spun on her heel and walked off. I sat down next to a friend and said, "I almost feel bad"

"No you don't", he replied.

"Okay, you're right I don't" I laughed...