After the antics of my 20th, I decided that I had done my fair share of drinking and Sanchez would take a hiatus from the addictive and delicious drug named alcohol. Could I last? Could I really deny the years of alcoholism his ancestors had brought before him? In a word, no!
One of my oldest friends, Christoph, was having his 20th. Now Christoph and I go all the way back to the small village where I grew up. They were side by side as a Mexican lady, who Christoph would later date, became the first women to eat twice her body weight in KFC. For Christoph's 20th, we were heading up to his beach house for two nights, um really Chris? You trust me? Ok, let's do it!
The esky was packed with 2 bottles of vodka and we were off, party time! The first night started slow, with many of the party-goers wanting to pace themselves. Not Sanchez! I didn't want a bar of this pacing yourself business, it was straight into the vodka and orange By the end of the night I was passed drunk, I was Sanchez Alfonso drunk! It was at this time someone suggested a maccas drive. Well you better bet your last buck that I was in that car before the sentence was finished! Now I have previously explained my run-ins with McDonald's drive thru's. Once again, I behaved as appropriately as I could. My recollection brings these exchanges to mind...
Sanchez: "Oi, do you have an cheeseburgers?"
Worker: "No, sorry we are on the breakfast menu!"
Sanchez: "Drop the attitude mate, have you got any shakes?"
Worker: "Sorry man, we are cleaning the machine"
Sanchez: "Are you serious? What kind of McDonald's s this, do you have anything in there? We are taking our business elsewhere biiiiiatcch!"
And we left without another word...
Once I securely had the McDonald's I craved in my hand, I slept well. Albeit on the hardest floor I have ever slept on. I was awoken in the morning by a terrible pain in my head. It felt as though I was Harry Potter and Voldemort was making love to me. After one of the worst hangovers in the history of mankind, it was time to do it all over again. But this time, we had an audience. The next door house, which was one of the richest houses I've seen, was full of girls getting ready to go out. As we watching them stroll from room to room in bras, the drinking games began. First up, boxhead!
There aren't many things I recall from this game other than the fact I had the box on my head and was breathing like Darth Vader and that a girl challenged my all-conquering knowledge of Harry Potter. We had a duel of Harry Potter knowledge and she walked away sorely defeated and I walked away screaming, "Gryffindor wins! Gryffindor wins!"
As the girls left for their party, we made our move. "Hey ladiesss" I called out in my most smoothest of voices. No reaction. They were rejecting me, that's funny! I'm Sanchez Alfonso! But after more drinking, the girls arrived home and invited us over. Well who are we to say no to these lovely ladies? However it was a trap, once inside, they sprang it that they were actually only 15. Now, Sanchez Alfonso doesn't mind an age gap in his ladies, but 15, not even he goes there. As I attempted a quick getaway, I saw a small passage in the ground that looked like glass over the top of water. As soon as I stepped on it I realised I was mistaken. There was no glass, just water. This is how I recall it...
My foot enters and the majority of my leg enters the water and it splashes everywhere.
Sanchez: "Fuuuuuck!"
Girl owner of the house: "What the fuck?"
Sanchez: "Fucking smoke bomb! Bail! I didn't do it, honest!"
I think I convinced her, and within a second I was back in Christoph's house drink my vodka and orange juices and being my usual charming self. Slowly night turned into morning and I recieved the following text from my parents,
"Tsunami warning for 8-9, stay away from the beach!"
I looked at my phone, then I looked out the window and saw the beach, "Unluckyyyy!"
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