It Can't Be! Uh oh, it is!

Stop the press! Breaking news just in, a scoop so big it will catapult the blog that reports it, straight to the top of the news world! Fortunately, the story revolves around myself, the Sanchez. Now sit back, relax and prepare to have your life look like nothing compared to the great Sanchez's life.

Before the story begins, I would like to refer to a previous blog titled Million Reasons To Be Scared, which is a masterpiece of english literature, outlining the tension and mystery of the audition process for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - Hot Seat. Although the story does not actually go into detail, or even address at all, the auditioning process, one can assume it was extremely harrowing which separates the men from the women. 

However, the groundbreaking story begins with the Sanchez sitting at home. He had just said goodbye to two very attractive females of which he had just finished a mutually satisfying conversation over a glass of water with. As he sat there pondering his life, he heard a noise. What could it be? Is that a sign that the lord above has chosen the Sanchez for a mission? No, it was just the phone ringing. "Hello" said Sanchez into the phone, "Hello, is this the Sanchez?" the man on the phone replied. 

Who was this mystery man? How did he know Sanchez's number? And why did the chicken cross the road? All these questions were racing through Sanchez's mind as he told the man he was Sanchez. "Well Sanchez, this is Michael from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - Hot Seat, would you like to be on the show?" 

And it is here, I would like to announce that Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - Hot Seat has achieved a major coup in that the Sanchez will be seen on their show! I repeat, the Sanchez will be on Hot Seat. 

For more information on contacting Sanchez for public speaking events, self help sessions and bedtime stories, please visit his facebook. Stay tuned for more information regarding Sanchez's appearance on the Hot Seat. Until then, keep your nose to the grindstone.

Is Sanchez like Samson?

Before I begin, I would like to start with some observational humour. I hope you can relate. Don't you hate it when you're with three women in bed and the ugliest turns to you and says, "Save it for meeee". What a drag! Another time, when I was having an out of body experience, my body took all my credit cards to the Gold Coast and had some sort of fling with a $500-a-night hooker, but do you think I could explain that to my girlfriend? ...NO! Women see what they want to see.

But moving on from my crazy life in which these things happen to me. I got a haircut today, and I know, there have been rumours going around that my chick-pulling powers are due to my beautiful blond locks, just as Samson's powers were because of his hair. But I am here today, blogging to you, to show you that those rumours were not true. My chick-pulling capabilities are as strong as ever, possibly stronger.

And for those doubters, I present the following story titled, "Sanchez at the hairdressers"
As was usual, where ever Sanchez went, he had heads turning. On this particular day, a day in which he had decided to get a haircut and boost juice, but had not yet settled on the flavour of his boost juice, heads were turning just as much. However, as he approached the hairdresser, heads turned with such speed that the sound of necks creeking echoed throughout the shopping centre. Onlookers stood there frozen as Sanchez put down his name and was told he had to wait 35 minutes. No, it wasn't that people couldn't believe someone had told Sanchez he had to wait for something for the first time in his life, it was because this was going to test be the ultimate test of Sanchez's amazing powers.

About an hour later, after receiving a large trim of his hair, and successfully tuning the hairdresser to the point she had to stop cutting to stop her heart beating out of her chest, he walked out of the hairdressers. For the first few steps, it seemed his powers had faded, he had become a mere human. But as he passed an extra fine looking mother, there was a moment, only a split second, where their eyes met. She dropped the child she was carrying, marched up to Sanchez and kissed him. She stood there, not believing what she had just done. It seemed Sanchez's powers had not disappeared, but morphed. When his hair is short, he gives very attractive, slightly older women, extreme physical urges towards him.

The only thing remaining to be seen is what his powers will become once he has shaved his head. This new and frightening chapter of his life remains to be seen...

A Million Reasons To Be Scared

It was like a scene from a J.K. Rowling masterpiece you might have heard of, Harry Someone. A video camera, a spotlight and a chair were alone on a stage; something didn't feel right. The crowd in front of the stage exchanged nervous glances as an eery silence gripped them to their seats. As the nerves grew, it was like everyone was waiting for one person to call out,"Hey, I know what's going on!" But the hollow mystery behind these objects on stage was deafening.

The crowd seemed to be asking themselves the same question in their head, "What terrible things will that camera be filming?" A few people looked towards the exits. The room was dimly lit but the anxiety on the faces of the crowd could be seen from all angles. A man in the front row leant across to his wife and whispered something that sounded a lot like not being able to do it. This through the surrounding people into silent fits as they imagined what the man could not do. Still, the video camera, the spotlight and the chair stood there alone taunting the crowd.

Sanchez was among the crowd and he alone sat there calmly. He gazed around the room, he was clearly the youngest there but still, his heartrate remained steady in his chest. A bead of sweat rolled down the face of the gentleman seated next to Sanchez and Sanchez caught a glimpse of his watch. The crowd had been sitting there alone for 15 minutes. And yet, Sanchez was a picture of calmness.

Suddenly, necks turned with such vigour that Sanchez heard at least a dozen creak. As the eyes of the crowd were squinting to the corner for a glimpse of a man who had seemingly materialised out of no where, Sanchez sat there lazy scribbling on his notepad. The man strode across the stage, he was bald, likely in his mid-50s but had an athletic build. He exuded confidence as he reached the middle and held out his hands. The crowd were on tenterhooks, the sweating man next to Sanchez looked likely to wet himself.

Sanchez could almost hear a woman behind him cringe in fear. One lady was overcome by her fear and made a dash for the exit. Her partner looked mortified, like his wife had offended the man on the stage and avoided eye contact with him as he suddenly became very interesting in his back pack. Sanchez grinned to himself. This was what he was here for, he knew when others would run, he would stand. When others would cower, he would walk forward. And when others would falter, he would succeed.

With a smile, the bald man on stage said, "Welcome to Who Wants to Be A Millionaire Auditions!"

July 15, greatest day in history?

July 15. To the uneducated, this is merely another day of work. Luckily, my readers are from uneducated. However, even my readers may not all grasp the greatness, the holiness and the pure breath-taking beauty of this day. So steady yourself in your seat, and prepare to have your breath taken from you as I reveal what is likely to be an unprecedented day in history.

On July 15, as many of you would know, the sixth Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, is released to cinemas around the world. This in itself is reason enough for the day to be held in the upper echelon of days. With the release of the most highly enticipated film of the year, schools across the country will be flooded with calls of illness and ailment from their students.

But July 15 isn't finished there, it still has to deliver the knock out punch to all other days. On this day of days, the greatest gift of all with be given to all through the art that is State of Origin. Yes, I know, I've just taken your breath. Wednesday July 15 is in fact the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and the final State of Origin game of 2009. With this final present to the people of Queensland, July 15 has ensured it will go down in history as the greatest day to date and that businesses around the state on July 16 will be flooded with calls of illness and ailment from their workers.

It seems that this day has something for everyone. For the men who are too tough to admit to their closet love of the bespectacled teen and his classmates and for the women who don't see the point in grown men running straight into each other. And for the many lucky people who can enjoy both of these experiences, this day will be remembered for an eternity.

Is Sanchez like Samson?

Before I begin, I would like to start with some observational humour. I hope you can relate. Don't you hate it when you're with three women in bed and the ugliest turns to you and says, "Save it for meeee". What a drag! Another time, when I was having an out of body experience, my body took all my credit cards to the Gold Coast and had some sort of fling with a $500-a-night hooker, but do you think I could explain that to my girlfriend? ...NO! Women see what they want to see.

But moving on from my crazy life in which these things happen to me. I got a haircut today, and I know, there have been rumours going around that my chick-pulling powers are due to my beautiful blond locks, just as Samson's powers were because of his hair. But I am here today, blogging to you, to show you that those rumours were not true. My chick-pulling capabilities are as strong as ever, possibly stronger.

And for those doubters, I present the following story titled, "Sanchez at the hairdressers"

As was usual, where ever Sanchez went, he had heads turning. On this particular day, a day in which he had decided to get a haircut and boost juice, but had not yet settled on the flavour of his boost juice, heads were turning just as much. However, as he approached the hairdresser, heads turned with such speed that the sound of necks creeking echoed throughout the shopping centre. Onlookers stood there frozen as Sanchez put down his name and was told he had to wait 35 minutes. No, it wasn't that people couldn't believe someone had told Sanchez he had to wait for something for the first time in his life, it was because this was going to test be the ultimate test of Sanchez's amazing powers.

About an hour later, after receiving a large trim of his hair, and successfully tuning the hairdresser to the point she had to stop cutting to stop her heart beating out of her chest, he walked out of the hairdressers. For the first few steps, it seemed his powers had faded, he had become a mere human. But as he passed an extra fine looking mother, there was a moment, only a split second, where their eyes met. She dropped the child she was carrying, marched up to Sanchez and kissed him. She stood there, not believing what she had just done. It seemed Sanchez's powers had not disappeared, but morphed. When his hair is short, he gives very attractive, slightly older women, extreme physical urges towards him.

The only thing remaining to be seen is what his powers will become once he has shaved his head. This new and frightening chapter of his life remains to be seen...

Woooo! 12 days baby! Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince will be in theatres near you in less than a fortnight! The Sanchez has managed, will great danger to his own life, to obtain exclusive clips of the upcoming films. Both of these clips were procured using my stealth skills I learnt off an ancient samurai warrior I met at Sea World one day. Both clips are very exciting and it looks as though the movie will be amazing. Worthy of a trip to Gold Class I think. You can view the first clip of Harry and Dumbledore here and the second one at the burrow here.

The second video was actually added into the movie script, this scene didn't happen in the book but the producer didn't want to have two Hogwarts battles (Book 6 and 7), so they removed the Hogwarts battle from this movie and added in this battle. Controversial decision? Yes. Will it pay off? You decide from the clip. My opinion? Good decision.

However, there may be more important issues at hand. I earlier stated I believe their could be a conspiracy going on about celebrities being identical twins separated at birth. But after having a while to think about this and mull it over, I have come to the conclusion that is just ridiculous. As I struggled to uncover the truth, it hit me. The polyjuice potion. A potion that when mixed correctly, can disguise one person as another for a length of time, however for a continued period of time, one must take the potion religiously.

The following celebrities are under investigation from the FBI for illicit polyjuice use.

Zac Efron and Jared Leto.

Natasha Henstridge and Sarah Murdoch.

The Sanchez will keep you updated with the progess of these investigations.

IF YOU WANT TO GET LOOSE, DON'T USE POLYJUICE ABUSE!

Yours sincerely,

Sanchez Alfonso

Til next time