UQ Law Ball

UQ Law Ball. Suits, free alcohol, fine ladies and Sanchez Alfonso. This is what dreams are made of.

Buttoned shirt done up, hair perfected, pants put on the three legs at a time and a tie hanging from my neck, Sanchez was ready. Upon arrival, Sanchez found he waiting time in bars to be not to his liking. But once it was discovered you could obtain 4 drinks at once from the upstairs bar, Sanchez had his target. Quite a few vodka and orange juices later, significant chat was being thrown.

The theme of the night was James Bond. As the alcohol coursed through my veins, I became more confident in my amazing good looks. Scoring with random chicks would be easy, they're drunk, I'm drunk and I'm Sanchez Alfonso. Game, set, match. So Sanchez and a good friend approached two young lonely ladies.

"Hey, the name's Bond, James Bond" I opened with, a sure winner I thought. Clearly not, as immediately my 'good friend' walked straight off. I kept my composure and fought through their laughter. Within seconds my friend had returned, but it was not to resume his wingman duties but to ask the girls to rate my performance.

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how did he go?" he asked. I still maintain that they misunderstood the question because they couldn't hear over the music. Or maybe I really was a 3...Either way, there were more drinks to be had.

By now, I had switched into 'Hail Mary' mode. Essentially, this is when you just go for it, all or nothing, straight up without any hesitation. It's a favourite of mine, not because it reaps results but because it gives everyone a good laugh, usually at my expense. However, I was feeling confident tonight, I was about to turn my dry patch around.

I checked my hair, fixed my tie and approached the bar.

"Hi, can I get a vodka and orange juice and your number?" I seductively slurred at her.

"Ummm, no sorry, but I'll get you that drink" she replied. After drowning my sorrows it came to me that I hadn't applied my papaw ointment before going to the bar, of course she was going to turn me down. Nevertheless, there were many more drinks to drink and girl to scare, I mean, tune.

After leaving the ball, Sanchez and his disciples were wandering the streets when we came across another group of people. Target locked on, time to shine.

"Hey, can you tell me which way to the city and can I have your number?" I shouted at her, not registering that I had left the loud Tivoli and was now in a quiet street. She smiled, pointed and politely said no.

"Oh, you're turning me down, that's funny!" I called out as I ran away.

The one decent conversation Sanchez did get into with a girl ended in a mysterious fashion...

*20 minutes of talking* "And then my boyfriend went and broke his leg...Hey, where are you going?" Talk about 20 minutes of wasted time.

After nearly getting into a fight with a Broncos player, for which I can't take all the credit for, and just generally being a boss for rest of the night, I found myself at a girls house with 3 other girls. And I know what you're thinking, "How does Sanchez do it? Once again, he will have a 4some, isn't he sick of having 4somes everyday?" But sadly, this wasn't one of those occasions. While the girl who owned the house was a bit of a nazi, Sanchez was in no mood to control himself. The highlight of the night was when Sanchez declared himself the greatest Harry Potter researcher in the last 50 years. However, a silly little girl decided she would challenge Sanchez. Could he name Ablus Dumbledore's middle names?

Now, normally this would be childs play, like studying arts or science at uni. But at 3am and drunk as Hermione Granger on her 10th butterbeer, this was a struggle.

"Percival...Wilfred...Ahhhhh fuck! God damn it nigga! JK Rowling is a whore! Oh, Brian!" I thought aloud. Another girl there asked the silly little one if that was correct,

"I don't know! Who cares, we won't ever find out", she replied with. Ummm, you are with Sanchez, we will find out. And within a second, Sanchez had located the 5th Harry Potter book on the bookcase, for Sanchez knew that in that book, Dumbledore anounced his full name to court in the case against Harry and his use of the patronus charm. After rifling through the pages, Sanchez found the line.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Ohh, so close! And just on cue, the house nazi walks into the room after brushes her teeth to see Sanchez reading through her books. "It's Harry Potter, chill out bro!" Hmmm she didn't like that.