Post Exams Piss

Some people see things and ask why, others dream things and ask why not? Sanchez does neither. With Sanchez, there is no questioning, no thirst for knowledge, no undying appetite for the truth of this world, there is only knowledge. Knowledge of the world, knowledge of women, knowledge that he is the greatest among men. Sadly though, no knowledge of the uni degree he is completing.

On this particular Thursday, this non-existent knowledge was on display. As he sat there in his final exam, looking down at the blank paper that should have been filled with answers, yet sat there empty, teasing him; he thought only of the mischief he would be creating once this exam finished. Finally, he attempted a question. It was a tough one. The question read,

'Name'

As he contemplated the meaning of this question, he decided it wasn't a trick question and proceeded to write his name. "Yes!" he thought, that's one mark down, 59 to go.

After the exam, it was on to the red room. Here, Sanchez's knowledge of women could be used to seduce/roofie a girl. First on the menu, two double blacks. And then two more. Followed by, two more. At which point, Sanchez ordered two more. At this stage, Sanchez wasn't exactly standing up straight. But straight in his cross-hair, was a lovely looking female. As he approached her, the room seemed hotter, rain fell straighter, clocks slowed and sounds were amplified. However, the amplified sounds made it much harder to hear the girl speak so that when she spoke, Sanchez had to revert to lip reading.

"Hey" Sanchez asked.

"Hi, what are you drinking?" she replied.

"Yeah my exams went well, how about you?" he said, showing his rookieness as a lip reader.

"Yes, the weather isn't good" she said, also showing her rookieness at lip reading and how much of a farce this conversation had become.

Sensing the awkwardness, Sanchez decided it was time to go. "Look" he said, pointing to the back corner of the room, "It's a squirrel with a gun! I'm sure he is going to kill everyone!" As she turned her head to find the squirrel, Sanchez grabbed her drink, turned and ran. He ran like Forrest Gump, and ran all the way to the University taxi rank were he caught a cab to the Fox. At the Fox, he found himself drinking two more double blacks and playing the pokies. It was at this stage that someone, somewhere in the room, dropped his glass. It shattered. Everyone yelled taxi and laughed but once the commotion died down, Sanchez called out a sneaky, "Beardddd!"

As Sanchez's pokie money soon ran out, he decided he needed more money. Where do you go to get money? The bank? An ATM? Of course not, the casino! Upon arriving at the casino, Sanchez decided the place he really needed to be was Fridays. As he started the solo trek, he realized he didn't know the way. Calling a friend, he begged her to give him directions. "Please! I don't know how to get there, oh hang on, I need to piss" he said as he found a suitable space of pavement to empty his bladder on whilst on the phone. After re-enacting the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy and walking for about seven hours, Sanchez finally reached Fridays. Only to be told he could not get in. They said too drunk, but Sanchez knew they meant too cool.