It was 4.35pm Friday afternoon. 5 minutes ago I had just put the finishing touches on my final exam for the semester. An exam which happened to be identical to last years exam and one in which I was seated behind a dear mate. All in all, I think it's safe to say Sanchez Alfonso will be recieving a 7 for Defence Against the Dark Arts. 5 minutes after the exam, I'm in the carpark getting changed and sharing a 2L cask of goon. Tonight was the Civil Engineering Pub Crawl. Hold on to your seats ladies and gentlemen, this will be one hell of a ride...
By 5pm, a $600 bar tab at the uni bar had begun. Special mention goes to Paddy Bye who was throwing up after an hour of drinking. That's faster than bulimia sufferers, very impressive! Mr. Bye was actually spotted eating chicken bones. He ate the chicken off the bones and then proceeded to chomp down on about 3 bones at once. This wasn't Rugby League drunk, this was Civil Engineering drunk.
After departing the Red Room, we travelled to the Regatta. Sanchez approached the bar, unsure of how many drinks he could order. "Excuse me, is there a maximum amount of drinks I can get at once?" he inquired to the bar staff. "No, what can I get you?" she replied. "6 vodka and orange juices please!" From the Regatta, it was off to the Chalk.
Upon arrival, I vented my disgust that spirits were not included on the bar tab. But due to a sneaky entrance tachnique which included bypassing all security guards, I was first placed at the bar. Beer or wine, beer or wine, beer or wine. I liked neither but really hate feminine girl drink called beer. So wine it was. "3 glasses of the wine that I would most like if I only drank vodka and didn't really like wine please" The bar tender looked at me for about five seconds. "Ummm when your ready thanks" I told her, slipping her a 20cent coin for her troubles. The first sip of the wine was terrible. Mental note, don't order from that girl again. However, due to Sanchez's incredible intelligence, I quickly found a way to enjoy the wine. Approaching the bar, "Hey can I get orange juice put in all of these drinks please?" Done. Delicious. Drunk. By the end of our visit, I didn't even need to speak when I aprroached the bar with my glasses of wine, the lady just got the orange juice out and spread the love.
Now for my brush with fame. After missing the pub crawl bus, I found myself wandering alone through the Chalk. BAM! I bump into Justin Sherman, the Brisbane Lion. This is the short version of a ten minute pep talk. "Shermsss, you just gotta run the corridor! You got the pace, tuck the ball under your arm, run to the fifity, load up and kick a goal! It'll lift the team. Brent Staker (who was about 5m away) is a joke, he's a terrible recruit, he's got nothing, you are the future of the club!" Justin was actually a really good bloke about it all. But now I was posed with a problem, how do I get to Fridays? Unfortunately, I can't tell you. I don't know how I did get there. All I know is I did and I proceeded to dominate the dance floors.
The moment that summed up my night was this attempt at ordering a drink, "Ummm can I have one of those things that in one of those things. A cup and stuff. I don't know the word. The thing in the sky, goes up and down. I don't know. I'm sorry." What I wanted was a vodka sunrise. But it seemed heaven and earth was against me! Leaving Fridays, a maccas trip in the cab was necessary. However, when my friends roommate returned from the airport at 5am and we ordered him to get us more maccas, I wasn't sure if that was necessary. But it really hit the spot. Waking up in the morning with another guy and a girl in my bed, my only thought was, "Wow, did that really happen?" Sadly, it didn't.
And then it hit me. I felt like I was Harry Potter and Voldemort was making love to me. My head wanted to explode. It was without doubt the worst hangover headache I have ever had. But it was well and truly worth it.
These are various messages I sent that night.
"Eeeesiplgt"
"Drugsssss"
"Saaapbnn"
"Is your bthd going hrtf?"
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